Crazy

So many things over here are obviously produced with no second thought as to the effect they might have. Just a small selection of photos of the dam mental things North America somehow produces!!!

Possibly the worst slogan of all time

We hope he had fun serving the city of Boston.

Possibly the best named subway station in the world.

The "english" isle in a supermarket

Produce from the "english" isle

Washing line anyone?

A park full of beds

A chistmas parade - IN AUGUST!!!

I like to party party

Whoahhhhhhhhhh its been a whole week since I bored you silly, exchange student life is toooooo fast and I can't really remember what I've been doing hehe. As usual there have been tons of parties, my favourite being a "black and white" party in a converted church (white for single, black for taken, and wear a mix if ur feeling....) Far too much alcohol has been consumed as per usual ohh and enjoy a few delights below:

What else? I BOUGHT MY ICE SKATES AND THEY ARE HOT HOT HOT!!!!! Tuesday was spent trying them out, followed by a shisha session. Mum has broken something in her foot after trying to do some form of acrobatics in the garage and is as good as me at complaining. I miss Bliss and I'm not speaking to Ollie until he changes the date of his birthday HINT HINT.

How to survive winter in Montreal....

How to survive winter in Montreal....a comedy value workshop given to us by the International Student Office. Please take these tips seriously...they might just stop ur nose falling off!!

Sensible footwear is always necessary. The uglier and the bulkier the better! Remeber to spray them with a good protector to stop the calcium eating away at them like sulphuric acid. A good quality sock and shoe might just save your toes....just imagine how ugly your foot would look if they fell off, you wouldn't be getting any jobs as a food model now would you!!!???

A coat with a hood is well recommended, and a forced smile makes passing strangers think you are at least enjoying freezing you balls off ;-)

Ensure to tie your scarf correctly so it can be brought up over your nose when your face begins to burn with cold! A sexy ass hat keeps the heat in...and remember to cover your ears, you don't want to loose one because you would probably look like a freak.

And if in doubt, drink a bottle of wine; a "beer jacket" always keeps away the frostbite...well thats a lie, it just means you can't feel it setting in.

REMEMBER ITS NOT A FASHION PARADE! SO ABANDON YOUR DIGNITY, LOOSE ALL SENSE OF STYLE AND PUT THAT MINGING JUMPER ON THAT YOUR GRAN KNIT YOU LAST CHRISTMAS!

Can Can beauties!!

I AM ONLY GLAD THAT THESE CAN CAN DANCERS ARE WEARING UNDERWEAR!! (for those of you who don't know these lovley gentlemen are the legendary HEChange organisers!)

UNE SOIREE AU MOULIN ROUGE

Puisqu’il sera bientôt temps de clôturer votre expérience québécoise...Nous vous invitons tous cordialement au GALA de fin de semestre d’HEChange sous le thème du Moulin Rouge !VENDREDI, le 23 NOVEMBRE 2007, 19H00Au SALON L’ORÉAL

I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Immigrant lovin'

Spooked

Those of you who have spend xmas or Halloween chez moi (which to be fair in my crazy household means a fair majority of you) will know a few things. My mum hates christmas, so much so we have an easter tree instead, tinsel is baned and don't even get her started on the christmas lights that people drape their houses in. Mum isnt a scruge but we like to celebrate the less popular english traditions (ha), instead we have an easter tree and a lot of Halloween decorations. However, strangley enough we were never allowed to go "trick or treating" as kids because mum saw it as a medival form of begging...... Needless to say this week was freaking amazing for me, I've always wanted to spend Halloween in North America and I WAS NOT DISAPOINTED. Tuesday's Cafe Campus loving increased a lot when I saw how much effort they had gone to in decorations and then the party that some of the immigrants had was probally one of the best I've been to in Montreal, everyone had gone to soooo much effort with all the crazy costumes and decorations. Anyway the photos say far more than I ever could!

Ice skating on friday was brilliant and Heta tried to teach me to skate backwards lol but it wasn't really working very well haha but i can kinda cross my feet over now...sometimes!! Although I have to say it wasnt quite as fun without the shiny presence of Scarletttttttttt. Saturday was a wicked day in Ottawa spend (like the last time) eating my whole body weight in cakes, bevertails, popcorn and pretzels. Much fun and frolics was had with Greggers and Ann-Laure posing (again) with statues and some general photo loving. We were good little tourists and went for a tour round Parliament which I have to admit (quite geekily) I really enjoyed, and it was free hehe. Then Saturday night was a bit of "GO SENS GO" lovin' as we went to see the Ottawa Senators play Boston in an icehockey match. Conclusion = I am now almost a bigger icehockey fan than I am "normal" fieldhockey!! They get to have massive punch ups on the ice and the refs do pratically nothing to stop it, its wicked!! I remember the time I hit that guy when I was at school and Presh refused to play me for 1 month afterwards, I was born in the wrong country ;-)

The rest of my week was spend on the phone to england trying to fix my life!! I think im cursed as not only has my camera broken but my laptop too!! And I didn't realise how much I depended on either of them until they sissled and broke. Ohh and working, my god i hate group work!! Especially when my other group memeber leave the only non native french speaker to do all the work haha are they trying to fail or something....

CUBA BABY

Jealousy is a horrible predicament but one that I will welcome with open arms as I rub in the amazingness of our autumn break holiday in Cuba. 35 HEC immigrants on the lash in the Caribbean for a week in the sun, can you think of anything better...throw in all inclusive alcohol, the most beautiful beach in the world and a lot of laughter and it makes Lorna one very happy bunny.

Time was mostly spent rubbing in sun cream and laughing at Scarlett. It would now be easy to confuse Jenna for a black woman as she wins "best sun tan 2007" and we also celebrate the fact that I HAVE TAN LINES AND I DIDN'T BURN!! Which for me is normally impossible. Scarlett made friends with a cockroach (ewwwwww) and a crab that lived in our room ohhh and you cannot begin to imagine the comedy comments that were produced this week. Which brings me too my new blog feature:

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO SCARLETT

• Bob Marley is the lead singer of the pop group WetWetWet.
• Tarmac doesn't exist. Instead roads are made of a substance called quick sand.

There were about 1 million more but when I come to write them down they vanish so Jenna and I are going to start carrying a note book round to capture in insanity.

We went to a wicked salsa club one night where the bar was so busy the only thing to do was to get 6 drinks at a time (Jenna...was that your idea...) anyway lets just say the night included a bunch of break dancing chavs from Manchester, a lot of bare foot grooving, and an embarrassing about of debauchery (Jenna...how many boys on a train....). Ohhh and someone chucked up but no comment who.

Apart from all of that we exploored some of the sourrounding coastline (so many amazing beautiful) with some very dodgy roads ohh and a few cities (Moron) but honestly sleeping on the beach all day was a welcome activity after the stress of exams.

All inclusive food is never a good idea for 3 Brits who consider themselves to be professional eaters at the best of times. "The night of two dinners" will probably become as famous as "The night of the long knives" in future years, purely for the fact that we still were not hungry 24 hours later. Then there was the waiter who thought we were alcoholics when we managed to sink about 5 bottles of wine between the 3 of us during dinner one night...ohhh and the waiter that Scarlett is going to marry so he can get his green card and then will move to Canada to live with here and "father many many babies." I could talk about the food for hours...and don't even get me started on the alcohol. The night of salsa debauchery racked up a drink total of over 30 sex on the beach EACH (and I wonder why we were ill) never mind the rest of the week, oh well we were getting our money's worth. Then there is the little tipple we brought back with us (a litre of rum for £2!!!!! and no it doesn't taste like rocket fuel) so it's nowhere near finished.

But now its back to work, I had a presentation this morning at 8.30 which is unearthly early after a week of alcohol abuse and now everyone is talking about exam results bla bla bla. Got so much already to do this week never mind making my Halllooowwweeeeeen costume which is going to be amazing if I don't say so myself.

Get the party started.....

Last Sunday was a wicked end to exams and a prefect start to autumn break. My flat mate took me out for dinner to her favourite Montreal esque restaurant so I could finally try a real poutine. Its "quintessential Canadian comfort food" that has only three ingredients; french fries, cheese curds and brown sauce, (not HP brown sauce, like sauce that was brown...hummmm kinda like gravy but not gravy...) I had tried it before, at a Quebec night at uni, and it had made me want to puke (do not trust the cooking abilities of HEChange alcoholic organisers) but Rhi told me that it's only good if you eat it in a proper place and I hate to admit it but she was right....such a goooood meal.

Apres the 1000000 million calory packed din we hit the club "Opera" for the immigrant end of exam party. I have to say that being a girl in this city is possibly the most amazing thing ever; not only do you get into these clubs for free but its open bar for zeeeee ladies so its like they are almost encouraging binge drinking and birds with beer bellies (I'm sure I saw that look in Vogue for spring/summer o8). Another class night with some amazing company :-)

Frolics

This week has been a bit of a blur mainly cos of Cuba anticipation and work overload. However there was a bit of a shisha loving on friday at Orienthé, man I love that place!! It's this crazy tea lounge in the arty bit of town with about 60 different tea's to choose from yumyum. Quite nice to have a night out that doesn't result in a hangover! Then today was spend down the pub hehe (a day has been soooooooooo long overdue since being here) for a bit of rugby action. Naturally it was an Irish pub, it even smelt authentic but we dont comment on the result, however we do highlight the fact the Jonny Wilko looked FINE on a wide screen TV. And OH MY GOD the luck of the irish was definatly being expolited there at $8 a pint (£4 to me and you) bring back the £1.20 cider black at happy hour!

AND NOW ALL I HAVE TO DO IT RUB IN THE FACT THAT IT IS 36 HOURS UNTIL CUBA!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHLOE!!!!!

Hehe she's going to kill me for this photo!

Ice ice baby

One learns a lot of things when one lives in Montreal.......

My main current activity is learning to dress appropriatley for the rather PSYCOPATHIC weather conditions; rain, snow, sleet, tropical heat, JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND GOD DAM IT!

Today was our first flirtation with the ice that will soon engulf the whole of Montreal turning is into slightly less dignified ice princess, baby we went ice skating!!! Scarlett provided the comedy value of course, she was a wee bit nervous so we got her this crazy ice zimmmmmer frame like a crazy granny on speed hehe. My feet hurt now but watch out Torvil and Dean cos you've got very stiff competition.

Once upon a time...

I’m feeling a wee bit academic aujourd’hui, I’ve just finished my midterm exams “intras” and I now have a full 2 weeks off school before I have to go back whoop whoop. This week is going to be coursework week and then la prochaine is CUBA CUBA CUBA!!!

Exams were ok ….. they are seriously a lot stricter here than anything in Bath, I remember trying to convince James to sit my French exam in first year and it would have actually been possible because you just go in, sit the exam and then walk out. At HEC however anal does not come close to describing it, they check your ID to see if you are the person that is really supposed to be there in that room and ur signature, Jenna had her calculator confiscated in a Maths exam because it wasn’t the correct one and they basically looked at every page in my dictionary to check that I hadn’t written anything in it. Ohhh and then there is the strange activity of timing you when you go to the toilet…hummm.

However all in all it’s probably a good thing that they are out of the way as I find myself doing very strange things during revision time. I not only watched Season 8 of America’s Next Top Model, but also season 5, 6, and 7, ohhh then season 1 and 2 of Britain’s Next Top Model. I also developed a werid obsession with looking at the most expensive items for sale on ebay, then there is the highly augmented facebook addition, the one tub of Ben and Jerry’s a day rule and the fact I spend about 22 hours a day in my pj’s.

Jenna was the hostess with the mostess on Saturday with a PaRtY chez elle. Red light bulbs à le Diable Vert set the scene which was accompanied with a good night of tequila frolics, firemen, Scarlett being hilarious, and a massive freak who wanted to know if I could get him in touch with some people from the IRA because he thought they looked like nice guys and he could learn some "tricks." WHATEVER! I also decided it was a good idea to try and fit through a broken window panel which was about the same size of my head…and I got stuck…thanks Michiel. Didn’t wake up with much of a hangover either :-)

The 17th, 18th, 19th and 20th of october were designed to make me bankrupt!!! I’m missing four very important birthdays this week which sucks majorly; the bankrupcy kicks off with my scottish slaaaag Laura, then Chloe (my golfing superstar SJP clone of a sis), puis one of my oldest and best friends, Em, is 21 and finally my biatch of preference (Ollie) is 21 on the 20th. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY, hopefully they understand that 3000 miles of water makes it a little difficult to nip home and celebrate. It’s been an expensive week in airmail stamps!!! And please not I am not going tobe your friend if you birthday is on the 16th or the 21st :-).

The other night was also the relaunch of the culture vultureness; I went to an exposition for some of Alejandro’s photos, and I met….wait for it….someone who had not only heard of Yorkshire but had heard of Scarborough!! My god, there is a certain quality to a conversation when you don’t have to tell someone that Yorkshire is not a suburb of London and that no its not in Scotland and that no its not an island of the “coast of London.” Ohh and then there is that whole thing when they find out I’ve been to London like twice and their like “really” and I’m like “YES IM A COUNTRY GIRL” and they are like “you have countryside in England, I thought it was just like London.” Whilst we are on the topic of geographically challenged Canadians, I met a guy in a shop in Quebec when I was with my Scottish friend who was like “I love your accents are you Australian” my response, after the hysterics had subsided, was no, I’m English and she’s Scottish. We should have seen the warning light flashing violently right then and there as the conversation progressed…..

Geographically challenged man: Scotland….is that a country?
Dawn : Yes it is a country, its above England
Geographically challenged man: Oh ok!
(slight pause where you could actually hear the cogs in his head turning)
Geographically challenged man: Are you sure its above England, I though that was Ireland?!
Dawn: No No I’m quite sure it’s above England, Ireland is to the left, it’s actually island.
Geographically challenged man: Ireland is and island, wow next thing you’ll be telling me that England is an island as well.
(confused look on my face, interpreted by geographically challenged man)
Geographically challenged man: You mean England is an island too, I thought it was joined onto France?

And Canada considers itself to be a developed nation?

I "heart" disco

Last night we went to a club called Opera to celebrate Thanksgiving with a bunch of immigrants (hehe when in Rome and all that). There was a serious lot of disco ball lovin.....can beat a good disco ball! Comme toujours it involved a fair amount of alcohol including the current favourite of the beer shooter (classy classy affair), Jenna makes a pretty good point: "We are alcoholic Brits who have no idea how to have a good time without getting wasted. Personally, I think it's a good thing." Ps if you notice the teetotalism didn't last that long, but I thought we could use the principal everything is good for you in moderation ;-)

Other than that I HAVE NOTHING TO TELL YOU, Scarlett has stopped saying funny things altogether, dam it, although she did accidental walk into a belly dancing class the other day and then ended up doing the class for 1 hour because she was too embarrassed to leave! Love you Scarlett.

I've really hurt my jaw (again) and have reverted back to the hamster-look-alike days. Kinda annoying but then 2 months of being here and no trouble until now...pretty good going for the girl who considers Hull Royal Infirmary her second home. The only thing about being back on a liquid diet is that you can still eat chocolate grrrrrrr! Bring on the pain relief.

Exam failure I sense is imminent...oh well at least I have a blog to illustrate to my demise.

Donde esta mi casa?

So Jenna's parents have decided to sell their house and move away why Jenna is in Canada, something which I'm sure everyone's parents threaten to do but but never actually carried out....my god girl you must have been a painful daughter to live with hehe but don't worry you can come and live chez moi if they don't tell you where they are moving!

Mine meanwhile might as well be doing the same thing...because I no longer recognise my house and its only phase 1 of reconstruction ie without all the demolition, reconstruction, steal, wood, glass, antique collection of garden gnomes and grazing llamas :-D I'm excited!!!!

Now lets play the game...spot the labourer aka father?

Ps Happy Thanksgiving

La vie est...

Proscratination is the order of the day I think, firstly because I have soooooo much work to do and secondly because there is a pile of washing up that I'm avoiding in the kitchen.

Jenna and I managed a road trip to Ottttawawawawawa which was an interesting "cultural" experience. We took about 500 photos outside of the Canadian Parliament and then decided we had "seen" the city so hit the shops! Hehe, nothing like a bit of fantastic plastic abuse. We also ate the entire annual food rations for a small developing nation, bagels, chocolate, ice cream, toffee apples, cookies, pasta, bread etc etc Needless to say my Cuba diet is most successful :-) and at this rate I'll be a size zero by Monday! Other than that there has been the usual amount of drunken debauchery ohhh and finaly a wee bit of fancy dress indulgence.

Next week is going to be ghorrible (yet so horrible I'm starting the word with g) because its miderms in less than a week which means REVISION and even greater fatness as cookies greatly aide the learning process. YUMYUM.

Ps I know it is eons away, but that still doesn't stop me getting seriously excited about Hallllowwwwweeeennnn and my street put all it's decorations up hehe and I can go and buy pumpkins WHOOP WHOOP

CUBA IN 2O DAYS!!!!!!!

:-)