Canada how I love you so so so!

Good morning and welcome to this weeks addition of “Canada how I love you so so so.” The agenda for this week’s bulletin is as follows

1. Tee totalism is on the increase in Montreal
2. I “heart” Quebec city and Jenna “hearts” gin
3. Miss I like to say funny things Seagar

1. Well I’ve given up the booze!! Yes I know, surprise surprise BUT MY LIVER HURTS!! And a lot of the reasoning behind my new found teetotalism is thanks to Miss Genevieve Laquerre!! One would think that one’s best friends, 5 years my senior, would be a sensible steady influence, oh no, that girl got me so drunk on Tuesday I FOGOT WHERE I LIVED!! You mother would be ashamed Miss Laquerre hehe especially when she told me afterwards that she slept for 18 hours solid, I had a class at 3pm the next day…not nice!! And Ollie, this made your 14-pint binge look like a walk in the park (we had to pull the taxi over 3 times so a certain someone could chuck up). Anyway not drinking avoids me becoming “that bird with the beer belly” hehe and means I can starts swimming lots and lots and lots and lots in time for Cuba!! God, and I thought the English knew how to drink!

2. This weekend 100 of us went to Quebec City with HEChange. It started as it meant to go on, with a “how many baby carrots can you fit in your mouth” competition and developed into a weekend of drunken debauchery (although this time it wasn’t mine), a lot of bus time, and a little bit of frost bite!

Having set off from Montreal at some god unearthly hour we finally arrived in Quebec City (about 2.5 hours away) where we were given a guided tour by the man that won the award, “Most annoying man in Canada 2006-2007.” The tour pretty much involved us laughing at him rather than at his very very very poor jokes about Scottish men not wearing underwear underneath their kilts in Canada (“would want those bits getting frost bite would you”), the drinking habits of men from Calgary and a very short lived battle of 15 minutes where the English inilated the French (again I hear you say) to gain control over Canada, which coincidental wasn’t the battle of Hastings! We then trundled off like good little tourists to visit the chutes de Momonrency (a waterfall to those of you who don’t parler francais). Nothing like standing in the pouring rain looking at water pounding off a mountain side and thinking how funny it would be if someone tried to go over it in a barrel! We then went to our uber posh Hilton Hotel room, oh year baby us echange students don’t do slumming it, where our afternoon mainly consisted of Pringles, Chips Ahoy and trashy celeb gossip magazines (when in Rome and all that…). Dawn and I ventured out for dinner and to stop at the “liquor store” for some gin (Bombay Sapphire no other) and then the night began!!!!! I suppose I should have been wary from the beginning when we started playing “Canadian football drinking games” for those of you not used to the drinking ways of 1 Rivers Street you basically watch football and then drink whenever you see a referee, a cheerleader, a coach, a tackle, or indeed see someone kick or throw the ball. Scarlett was being a whisky bore with her pathetic measures so we sorted her out yet Jenna was having no problems slugging back the gin. Leaving the hotel room to go the club produced probably the funniest “flying the British flag” moment of all times, I have some videos which are worth a lot in bribary fees which if you are lucky you will get a look at once this semester! Anyway needless to say Jenna didn’t make it to the club and she was packed off home in a taxi! Go Jenna! Go Jenna! Go Jenna! So she left me and Scarl flying solo. The club was cool but pretty uneventful; our search for food at 2am however did end in us being in a lockin at a random openmike night with crazy crazy local Quebec music! Having got back to the hotel we were greeted by the pleasantness of Jenna’s sick, nice classy girls us Brits! I did my mum (à la Nicola Bliss) routine and donned my rubber gloves, oh how I loved it so! (that last bit was sarcastic if you couldn't tell).

Sunday morning meant a very early wake up COS WE WERE GOING TO SEE THE WHALES!!!! Jenna felt rough as hell and had no memory past about 9pm which was hilarious. I however was seriously stoked about completing task number 28 of my 101 things to do!! Three hours later we arrived in Tadoussac after driving down the St Laurence River; seriously beautiful countryside but soooo cold and bleak! I cannot even begin to imagine how the River would look when frozen, it's a massive expanse of water! The next three hours were both the coldest and most amazing! We saw quite a few different ones not that I am able to tell you about any of them; they were big and blue/black/white and blew water from holes in their heads…hummm also saw a few giant seals which had heads as big as horses. I couldn’t believe how tiny their fins were because they were HUGE. We debarked missing a few fingers cos of the frostbite and returned home. Montreal, home, ha an interesting thought, but it really does feel like home now!

3. Scarlett has been on form the last few days with some pretty hot comments, a few I am not listing (to preserve her dignity) although the rest I think we all need to have a good giggle about. She said what……

Scarlett “I’m a human radiator in bed…in fact a few people have told me this…rather useful in the winter don’t you think?”

Scarlett “Would you be a pole dancer if you were desperate for money? I would, I mean it’s just like being in Guppy isn’t it” (Bath's Café Campus for all you Canadians).

Scarlett “Does anyone else ever feel the need to have glittery boobs?”

Scarlett “Do you think it’s really bad to have sex with a shower cap on?”

Scarlett “I was a cat in a previous life, I like being stroked!”

We all know that there's plenty more to come....bye bye xx