Ps Montreal I don't really hate you, I like you lots and lots and lots!!! Recovered from video camera ordeal with a night of tea and shisha, sat outside on one of the hottest september nights in the history of all time (ok I over exagerate a little but it was still like 30c). Tea.......ahhh hehe make me think of Bliss, Sophle and the converted Nomes when its NEIGHBOURS TIME, can't believe you never digged the tea Burrows!!!
Friday = fat shaped heaven when Heta and Oreo (her roomie) held the best culinary night of my life. Pancakes (made with rum yum yum) were consumed at an alarming rate with an array of highly fattening complements. Twas followed by another immigrant soirée and some killer cocktails at a bar called GogoLounge which is now on my "funky Montreal bar list;" wicked DJ and all the cocktail menu was made from recycled records :-). Then obviously the night wouldnt be complete without a visit to the doggiest pizza place in Montreal, which advertises pizza for $0.99 but actually charges $1.79, but it has a sesame seed crust so we don't complain :-) The night finished with probably the strangest thing yet to happen in Montreal, we were waiting on the metro platform but instead of a train arriving down the tracks, a tractor came trundling down....
Scarlett "That Sarkozy guy is quite hot. I was watching him on youtube with that Sigorney Weaver woman."
Scarlett "If we were all naked wouldn't life be a lot easier, I mean we would all be thin!"
Pantoute = pas de tout
Placoter = discuter
Jaser = parler
Une brouse = une bierre
Une patate frite = les frites
Mon chum = mon copain
Ma blonde = ma copaine
Un char = une voiture
Etre sur son 36 = etre chic
Avoir le cœur gros = etre triste
Capoter = devenir fou
Magasiner = faire des courses
C’est tiguidou = c’est d’accord ou c’est parfait
Il mouille = il pleut
Se faire griller la couenne = se faire bronzer
C'est plate = c’est enuyant
Moi tou = moi aussi
Mettre le son dans l’tapis = mettre la musique a plein volume
Niaiser = faire l’imbecile
Prendre une marche = faire une ballade à pied
Quessé = que'est-ce que tu fais?
Avoir du fun = s'amuser
Astheur = a cette heure
C'est pas crayable = c'est pas croyable
C'est the top = on ne fait pas mieux
Un pitou = un chien
Canceller = annuler
Rusher = se depecher
Souper = repas du soir
En masse = beaucoup
Je suis mal pris = j'ai besoin d'aide
Un super patente = un super truc
Arret de nous bullshitter = ....
Shipper = envoyer
Aye! Le zouf = Un homme stupide
Pis = puis
Prendre ca cool = relaxe
Viens icitte = viens ici
Book-moe un vol rush rush (hehehe) = reserve-moi un vol vite vite
Ps, I just can't wait to get back to Bath and do a presentation and for everyone to turn around and go "she said what....."
Good morning and welcome to this weeks addition of “Canada how I love you so so so.” The agenda for this week’s bulletin is as follows
- Tee totalism is on the increase in Montreal
- I “heart” Quebec city and Jenna “hearts” gin
- Miss I like to say funny things Seagar
1. Well I’ve given up the booze!! Yes I know, surprise surprise BUT MY LIVER HURTS!! And a lot of the reasoning behind my new found teetotalism is thanks to Miss Genevieve Laquerre!! One would think that one’s best friends, 5 years my senior, would be a sensible steady influence, oh no, that girl got me so drunk on Tuesday I FOGOT WHERE I LIVED!! You mother would be ashamed Miss Laquerre hehe especially when she told me afterwards that she slept for 18 hours solid, I had a class at 3pm the next day…not nice!! And Ollie, this made your 14-pint binge look like a walk in the park (we had to pull the taxi over 3 times so a certain someone could chuck up). Anyway not drinking avoids me becoming “that bird with the beer belly” hehe and means I can starts swimming lots and lots and lots and lots in time for Cuba!! God, and I thought the English knew how to drink!
2. This weekend 100 of us went to Quebec City with HEChange. It started as it meant to go on, with a “how many baby carrots can you fit in your mouth” competition and developed into a weekend of drunken debauchery (although this time it wasn’t mine), a lot of bus time, and a little bit of frost bite!
Having set off from Montreal at some god unearthly hour we finally arrived in Quebec City (about 2.5 hours away) where we were given a guided tour by the man that won the award, “Most annoying man in Canada 2006-2007.” The tour pretty much involved us laughing at him rather than at his very very very poor jokes about Scottish men not wearing underwear underneath their kilts in Canada (“would want those bits getting frost bite would you”), the drinking habits of men from Calgary and a very short lived battle of 15 minutes where the English inilated the French (again I hear you say) to gain control over Canada, which coincidental wasn’t the battle of Hastings! We then trundled off like good little tourists to visit the chutes de Momonrency (a waterfall to those of you who don’t parler francais). Nothing like standing in the pouring rain looking at water pounding off a mountain side and thinking how funny it would be if someone tried to go over it in a barrel! We then went to our uber posh Hilton Hotel room, oh year baby us echange students don’t do slumming it, where our afternoon mainly consisted of Pringles, Chips Ahoy and trashy celeb gossip magazines (when in Rome and all that…). Dawn and I ventured out for dinner and to stop at the “liquor store” for some gin (Bombay Sapphire no other) and then the night began!!!!! I suppose I should have been wary from the beginning when we started playing “Canadian football drinking games” for those of you not used to the drinking ways of 1 Rivers Street you basically watch football and then drink whenever you see a referee, a cheerleader, a coach, a tackle, or indeed see someone kick or throw the ball. Scarlett was being a whisky bore with her pathetic measures so we sorted her out yet Jenna was having no problems slugging back the gin. Leaving the hotel room to go the club produced probably the funniest “flying the British flag” moment of all times, I have some videos which are worth a lot in bribary fees which if you are lucky you will get a look at once this semester! Anyway needless to say Jenna didn’t make it to the club and she was packed off home in a taxi! Go Jenna! Go Jenna! Go Jenna! So she left me and Scarl flying solo. The club was cool but pretty uneventful; our search for food at 2am however did end in us being in a lockin at a random openmike night with crazy crazy local Quebec music! Having got back to the hotel we were greeted by the pleasantness of Jenna’s sick, nice classy girls us Brits! I did my mum (à la Nicola Bliss) routine and donned my rubber gloves, oh how I loved it so! (that last bit was sarcastic if you couldn't tell).
Sunday morning meant a very early wake up COS WE WERE GOING TO SEE THE WHALES!!!! Jenna felt rough as hell and had no memory past about 9pm which was hilarious. I however was seriously stoked about completing task number 28 of my 101 things to do!! Three hours later we arrived in Tadoussac after driving down the St Laurence River; seriously beautiful countryside but soooo cold and bleak! I cannot even begin to imagine how the River would look when frozen, it's a massive expanse of water! The next three hours were both the coldest and most amazing! We saw quite a few different ones not that I am able to tell you about any of them; they were big and blue/black/white and blew water from holes in their heads…hummm also saw a few giant seals which had heads as big as horses. I couldn’t believe how tiny their fins were because they were HUGE. We debarked missing a few fingers cos of the frostbite and returned home. Montreal, home, ha an interesting thought, but it really does feel like home now!
3. Scarlett has been on form the last few days with some pretty hot comments, a few I am not listing (to preserve her dignity) although the rest I think we all need to have a good giggle about. She said what……
Scarlett “I’m a human radiator in bed…in fact a few people have told me this…rather useful in the winter don’t you think?”
Scarlett “Would you be a pole dancer if you were desperate for money? I would, I mean it’s just like being in Guppy isn’t it” (Bath's Café Campus for all you Canadians).
Scarlett “Does anyone else ever feel the need to have glittery boobs?”
Scarlett “Do you think it’s really bad to have sex with a shower cap on?”
Scarlett “I was a cat in a previous life, I like being stroked!”
We all know that there's plenty more to come....bye bye xx
Friday night was spent with HEChange and I had the most amazing time. They organised a "Quebec night" where the beer was cheap, the food was NASTY and the aim was culture. They made me eat poutine!! Its "quintessential Canadian comfort food" that has only three ingredients; french fries, cheese curds and brown sauce, (not HP brown sauce, like sauce that was brown...hummmm kinda like gravy but not gravy...) Anyway I'm open minded but PLEASE DON'T FEED ME THAT AGAIN! Hehe apparently if you have it at a proper restaurant then its good, but a word from the wise, never ever eat it when its been prepared by a group of HEChange organisers who are hell bent on turning 150 exchange students into alcoholics before going home for Christmas. After the gastronomic delights of dinner we went to a club called Altitude 737 which was for sure the coolest club I've been to over here. Being situated on the top of the the tallest office tower in Montreal means it has quite possibly the most amazing view in the world. Dancing beneath the stars on the 42nd floor might mean this club only has a summer long lifespan but the view makes it totally unforgettable and some how it justifies the numerous alcoholic beverages I consumed :-). After we left the club we ended up in possibly in the strangest senario of all time, a lock in at a Greek pizaria run by a crazy mafia esque Italian man and a lady from Shropshire. You can't get much wilder than illegal pizza at 3.30am when being greeted by "how many are you??.....4??....please come quickly." Classic night out!
This weekend has been spend WORKING. Yes I know it's dull but after my muck up last week (Scarl and I were supposed to hand in an assessment for one of our classes but we didn't do it because we didn't even understand that we had been set work never mind we had some to do!) I thought I better spend a weekend with my books which coincidentally COST ME A DAM FORTUNE! Unlike at Bath the library here sucks and has none of the core text books. This means you have to buy them all or fail, although something tells me that just buying them alone isn't going to help me pass, I might have to open them dumdumdum!!!!!
I am also majorly excited in the geekiest of ways possible because Ségolène Royal is coming to speak at the University of Montréal next week. After the lack of Nick Griffiths at Bath last year I'm so happy I have the opportunity to hear her speak, not that I'm likening the leader of the British National Party to the socialist party candidate in the French 2007 elections, Bliss will understand what I mean so ask her :-). Anyway, after my obsessively massive project on her last year at Uni it's a bit like getting to see Santa Clause, I told you I was feeling geeky!
After that bit of interlectualness I feel it's important to lower the tone again and highlight the fact that its almost Tuesday again so it means CAFE CAMPUS and $7 pitchers! :-) I've also died my hair (I haven't killed it, I mean I have dyed it, only it annoys Ollie if I spell it "died") back to its Peruvian colour, it's soooooo dark kinda makes me look ill (ha) but its quite good for comedy value and done in plenty of time for Halloween. Hasta lluego xx
Scarlett "She is either pregnant, or she's had her hair cut!"
Scarlett "Is that lemon or gucuamoli?"
Scarlett "When was Brazil in the eurovison song contest?"
Scarlett "Do snakes have sex?"
Scarlett "What's a hemishpere? How many hemispheres are there? Are there 2?"
Scarlett "Is it a 69 or a 98?"
Scarlett "'A fictional character I would like to go out with? Hummmm, maybe a Rugrat!"
When looking further into the condition one discovers that many a celebrity also suffers from this verbal problem and that there is even an award given anually, shotgun nominating Scarl!
Every Sunday at Mont Royal Park is known as Tam Tam Sunday and it draws hundreds of people for what can only be described as a massive impromptu party. People sitting in a huge drumming circle with their bongo-like drums playing along to a rhythm that never seems to end, surrounded by spontaneous dancers in their various arrays of hippy attire. Yesterday produced a man in a leopard thong who was a very enthusiastic groover and another dressed as Jesus carrying a massive picture of a tree. Womad festival in my own back garden :-). However its days are numbered as it only lasts throughout the summer months.
Last Saturday's football match (Montreal Alouettes v Hamilton) was probably the most surreal and cheesy experience on my trip to conquer north America. Three hours of total confusion, and when I thought I'd finally understand what the hell is going on they'd start running in a total opposite direction and contradict everything that I thought I had just come to understand, HA! The atmosphere was pretty wicked, cheerleaders in four inch thick foundation, and wait for it, there was even a marching band!! Oh yes, American Pie eat your heart out (soPhle would have loved it). We won the match, not that I could tell you how, by what score, and indeed if we were any good, I'll be sticking with the hockey for now at least.
So apart from watching lycra clad men in very very funny shorts and other men dressed like Jesus we had a serious exciting trip to the "Festival des Films du Monde." Quoted as being "a prestigious international film festival attracting stars, directors, producers, writers and about half a million visitors" it was for sure the most hilarious cinematic experience of my life. Lets just say Iraqi cinema aint what it used to be. "Fatima" was probably the best comedy film I've ever seen, the only problem being that it wasn't a comedy, the acting was just hilarious! So we had to sit there for a good hour and a half biting the insides of our cheeks to stop the hysterics and disdaining looks from the "arty" people sat around us. Imagine Hollyoakes cross Borat cross the Waltons and you might get the image.
On the other hand the great news is that Ali passed his driving test, seriously chuffed for him but I AM SOOOOOO SCARED that he is now in charge of India. I can already imagine that Kera Knightly has been banished from the key chain and some Page3 blond has replaced it. Ha. Please let me come home with her in one piece Ali!!! He has also finally escaped the grasps of Scarborough College and is off to York College from September to study photography, the end of an era!
And Chloe continues to dominate the world of golf single handedly and probably half of Yorkshires unsuspecting 13 year old boys ;-). Need I say anymore :-). X